This has been making the email rounds. Hilarious.

KERN COUNTY BARBIES" Seven Oaks Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Garces High School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.


"Haggin Oaks Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at the Marketplace She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a custom home . Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Rosedale Barbie"
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan or Chevy Tahoe and matching gym outfit. She has no full-time occupation. This soccer mom enjoys shopping at Target and eating lunch at Sequoia. Home Builder Ken or Law Enforcement Ken sold separately.

"Taft Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Greenacres Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Greenacres Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.


"Oildale Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.